Parting Ways

Saying goodbye is an emotional turning point that everybody, regardless of age, has to face. No matter what aspect of life we’re currently in, goodbyes are a normal standard. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are easy. By no means are they a simple thing to do.

Wisely put, Pooh.

Even though college can be an institution where a lot of excitement and friendships are made, it’s also a brewing ground of departure. Eventually, people are going to have to return to their homes and start over after a semester ends, a transfer to a different school, or any possible thing that would cause them to have to say the G-word. We bond with others here, but when our time with them is over, it can be a sad thing to face– which is why I wanted to write a specific blog entry about it. There’s no class on pushing through these things, so I wanted to share my own experiences and give some advice on it.

Recently, I got word that one of my favorite psychology professors was leaving LMU and moving on to another job. This hurt. Not necessarily because I was angry at him for leaving, but because we had so much history together and I had to give up making more history with him in the future.

A huge inhibitor of the “getting over someone leaving” process is cutting out the what-if’s. These little annoyances will churn their way into your thoughts and make you wonder about what might have happened if they had chosen to stay. They are ultimately useless, so try to avoid thinking about them as much as possible.

Another thing you want to avoid is (exactly as it was mentioned before) anger. If you’re typically an impulsive person, you might get mad at how or why someone could possibly leave. This is another side effect that’s more or less useless in the long run. It doesn’t quite get anything accomplished and even if it’s a reasonable anger, it probably won’t do anything.

Which leads into our third thing that you want to avoid: assuming it’s all your fault. This one is kind of the pitfall that I get suckered into sometimes. When someone leaves, I wonder why I wasn’t good enough to make them stay. Insecurity over someone leaving is definitely a hard thing to go through. When you take it the wrong way and believe you’re the sole purpose in them leaving without any evidence… well, that’s not only harmful to you, but possibly the person going away. They’re intentions probably don’t revolve around you, and chances are, they don’t want the process of leaving to be any more painful than what it already is.

I know what you’re thinking about this post so far. It’s easier said than done, right? Honestly, I’ve memorized what I should and shouldn’t do in these situations, but does that mean I’ll keep from doing them? Not necessarily. We’re bottle rockets, emotionally. If we hold in too much, we will eventually blow up and cause hurt to the ones around us. So instead, take a healthier approach to the situation. Talk to the person. A quick heart-to-heart is a good thing in this circumstance. You’ll understand why they’re leaving, express how you feel, and be able to make peace with their absence. As close as you are, it will be beneficial to both parties. It’s also a good way to take a step back and realize the other person’s intentions. They’re leaving for a purpose, and realizing that will help you accept them going away.

The rest is up to you. You have to take this in the most positive way possible. Think about your friend and all the good things they’re going to achieve later on down the road. Think about how they’re going to befriend people just like you who will make them happy just as they made you happy. Selfishness is going to make you want to keep them, but generosity is what’s going to make you feel better about letting them go.

It’s the biggest cliché in the book, but if you love someone, you’ll let them be free. This is what gets me through every time I say goodbye to someone. When I let someone spread their wings, it’s just another way of showing I care.

So, despite the shovels of mushy, emotional material in this post, I’m happy now that my favorite professor is leaving. I wish him the best. If anyone reads this and has a similar story to tell, leave a comment or like it.

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Isn’t History Boring?

“Isn’t history boring?”

I hear this all the time. Being a history major, this is a question that I’ve come to associate very easily with my field. It tends to be one that arises a lot, but people are usually pretty surprised when my answer is: “Yes, it can be.”

Of course, it all depends on who’s teaching the course. History is a compilation of true stories, all written in different cultural contexts and viewpoints. If the story is told in a monotone, Ben Stein voice, it’s not going to sound interesting. As a matter of fact, most of us are accustomed to that tone, leaving history with kind of a bad reputation.

Admit it. We’ve all had the same mental image. When we think of a history teacher, we imagine a white-haired, old man wearing a corduroy suit with patches on the arms who’s probably been present for half of the events he’s teaching about. His voice drawls on for hours and even if you’ve had multiple cups of coffee, you still can’t help but doze off. Honestly, though, that isn’t always the case.

History can be exciting and sometimes even enthralling. All it truly hinges on is how the story is being told. When telling a story, the person needs to make it seem interesting at all costs. This is where most history teachers go wrong. Granted, economics and population counts aren’t going to appeal to everyone, but it’s a teacher’s job to sell it.

What attracted me to the subject was–again–the storytelling aspect. The subject was interesting to me, but never really caught my interest until college, where I had some fascinating teachers who opened the history door for me. Most of the classes were early in the morning, yet when they dug deep into the heart of the lesson, I couldn’t consider myself ready to fall asleep. I was wide awake, taking in everything they had to say and trying my best to wrap my mind around events that had happened centuries ago.

Yes, there was a lot of reading and research involved. Most people will roll their eyes at this part, but it’s a package deal that a lot of history majors have to deal with. What surprised me, though, is that even though I didn’t enjoy writinga lot of my papers, there were a lot of research points that I did like.

Pictures being one of them. A picture’s worth a thousand words, and a lot will speak more volumes than what you’d give them credit for. This is definitely true with some historical events as well. I loved seeing black and white photos and sepia pictures of different areas of the world. Some of the ones from the Holocaust actually made me tear up. Some from the 1920s made me smile. Some from WWI battlefields and September 11th terrified me. There’s something that a picture does that can make you feel a certain way. When you see them in person, it really reminds you that these were real things that happened to real people. It takes you back and makes you relate to them more than you ever could have before.

Children kept in Auschwitz during the Holocaust.

A kiss before deployment during World War II.

Another part I liked was primary sources. A primary source is something directly taken from that specific era, like a journal entry or a personal book of some kind. Reading what someone else had written definitely has a way of transporting me into the author’s mind and lets me know what it was like to live in their time period. A good example of a primary source would be The Diary of Anne Frank. It is a piece of work all written by her hand, a story told in her voice. You get to hear a firsthand account of what it was like being a Jew in hiding during the height of Adolf Hitler’s power. Other accounts from other times in history really know how to bring a reader to his or her knees, too. Soldiers from the communist Soviet Union have written heart-wrenching journals and families from the 1950s have also given some great accounts about their history and culture, too. All of these intimate words can have an effect on someone, no matter what time they’re living in.

Overall, history can be pretty wild. It all depends on who’s doing the storytelling and who’s doing the listening. If you can find the right place and time that engages you, you–or anyone, for that matter–can enjoy it.

If you found this blog to be entertaining or interesting, like or comment. And if you’re down for more discussions written by yours truly, follow me.

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One Choice Can Define You

Okay, exactly how many Divergent fans do we have up in here?

I’m sure there’s plenty, right? If you haven’t heard of them by this point, I assume you’ve lived under a rock. I’ve loved the books ever since I was curious enough to crack the first one open. If you haven’t read them, I highly suggest you give them a shot. They’re addictive and packed with emotions, though, so if you have PTRD (Post–Traumatic Reading Disorder), be warned. Still, what jumps out at me is the concept of Divergent and how it can relate to our lives.
Of course, we don’t live in a high-tech, super cool, dystopian society; however, the premise of Divergent can still parallel with us as college students. College is like a little training camp for adults. And like Divergent, it’s all based on choices. Bear with me and I shall show you the resemblance.

In the world of Divergent, the amazingly fearless and cooler-than-sliced-bread heroine Tris lives in a city where everyone is divided into five factions based on personality. When a person reaches the age of sixteen, they must choose what faction they will stay in. The choice is permanent and they may never see their families again.
No pressure, right?
Here’s where the relatable part kicks in. Whether we admit it or not, our entire lives are based on the foundation of choices. And when you reach college, it definitely doesn’t stop. As a matter of fact, choices are even more important here than ever before.
Biggest choice, though? Your major.
At LMU, you have a ton of options in front of you. We have an awesome medical school (LMU-DCOM) for medical students in training. There is a plethora of liberal arts majors to speak of, ranging from art to music to English to (yours truly) history. There are also a lot of choices for people interested in education, athletic training, criminal justice, and more. But having so many things to choose from can kind of be overwhelming. It’s a lot to take in.
One of the biggest conflicts in the Divergent trilogy is that Tris is categorized as “divergent”- meaning that she doesn’t fit into one specific faction. In the Divergent fictional universe, this can mean death. In the real world, you’re a lot luckier, but it can still cause a lot of frustration and confusion.
I, myself, have felt very divergent in the college world. I started out as a K-6 Education major, but as soon as I started field work in the class, I realized Sesame Street and kindergarten classrooms wasn’t really my thing. I absolutely loved four subjects– history, music, English, and psychology. But having to choose between them? That was the hard part.
I felt like I loved them all the same. I loved writing books. I loved playing music. I loved listening to stories of the past, and engaging and exploring the human mind. Having to choose one over the other was like having to pick the favorite out of my children. I was scared that I might end up unhappy with one, though. And if I got a degree in something I didn’t love 100%, I would be stuck in an unhappy job.
Eventually, I chose history because of three reasons. A.) I could get a mental health counselor’s degree in psychology if I stuck with the path I was on. B.) I already had taken a ton of history classes. C.) Music and writing were more like passions and hobbies, rather than possible jobs. They were something I did freely, and if they felt like work, something told me that they wouldn’t be fun anymore.
These are just my own personal reasons, though. You may be different. Like Tris, you may be scared and nervous about not fitting into one category (or major). And if you are, fear not, it gets better.
Again, I like to top things off with a handy-dandy little list to keep things simple and easy to read. Here are some helpful tips to give you a hand if you’re confused with choosing the right major for you.

1. Do some soul searching. Okay. Easier said than done, right? But as one of my psychology professors has told me in the past, “You are the expert on you.” No one knows you better than yourself. People can make suggestions, but at the end of the day, you know your mind and heart the best.
2. Talk to an advisor. These people are there for a reason: to help you. If you’re confused, they will talk to you and make the choosing process much easier.
3. Grab a change of major form and fill it out. Once you’ve finally decided, ask for a change of major form from your advisor and fill it out. Then, turn it in at the registrar’s office. After that, you can meet up with your advisor and talk about a new schedule.

So maybe change isn’t such a huge threat as it is in Divergent, but it can be scary. In a college setting, though, it should never be frightening. Hopefully, the transition will go over easily and you will be satisfied with your choice. If you enjoyed this blog, like it, comment on it, follow, and spread the word. Happy choosing, everybody!

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Skin Deep

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of pageants?
Is it shows like Toddlers and Tiaras or Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? Is it catty, gossiping girls or ugly arguments? Is it fake nails, fake hair, fake teeth, and an orange tan? Let’s admit it: there are a lot of negative stereotypes when it comes to beauty pageants and the girls who participate in them. A lot of people think of it as fake.

As do I.

So when the Delta Theta Sigma sorority hosted a “natural pageant”, I was curious. Yours truly was a pageant girl from a young age. Recently, I participated in the breast cancer awareness pageantearlier this fall and won princess, which was awesome. All of my friends heavily persuaded me to enter, so I went for it. Why not? I knew they would be cheering me on and, at worst, I would get a participation trophy. I didn’t feel like I had anything to lose. Continue reading

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We’ve all felt it. It’s 8 a.m. Your class is at 9. You’re completely wrapped up in the warmest, most secure covers imaginable. There weren’t enough hours of sleep in your schedule last night, so you’re soaking up every precious bit you can.
Then, like an intruder, your alarm clock blares out and ruins everything good in the world.
Looks like you have two choices. You can A.) drag yourself out from under the loving embrace that your blankets give and get ready for class or B.) stay in bed. It seems easy enough, but if you’ve been there (like most of us have), it’s actually a pretty tough choice. The choices hit really hard around the end of the school year (i.e. now). However, going to class is very important. I’m sure every now and then, you can produce a good reason why not attending is important. Still, you have to ask yourself- “Is it worth it?” Skipping class impromptu can lead to some pretty sorry grades, so I wouldn’t skip unless the matter was urgent. There’s actually a dictionary term for this feeling of not wanting to leave the bed- Clinomania. Believe me, I’m sure everyone has felt it at some point in their lives.

Well, guess what, sufferers of Clinomania? I was once a person who clung to the bedposts for dear life to keep from going to class. Yet after learning some helpful tricks, I got over it. In order to make things a little easier for everyone else, I have listed them. If you take heed of some of these tips, you too can defeat Clinomania and get to class on time all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Continue reading

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